ants on a log....

ha ha this is called ants on a log....it's celery with peanut butter and rasins....interesting I have to say
Definitely a fun snack...woooo
I am trying to eat healtheir....haha

The little ones...

Man these little ones were so cool! Even with the huge language barrier, God's love still shines through! Woooooo!
A piece of my heart was left with them for real! When can I go back? :)

LiFe ChAnGe

So I am back from Juarez, Mexico...still hurting from the time change. I cannot even begin to explain how views, defintions or "churchy" words, mental pictures, thoughts, feelings, etc have changed and been broken from this amazing experience. I do not think I have fully encompassed everything I came incontact with or things brought to my attention. I know I am being vague, but it is hard to think through it and see how it is going to play out in my life. So- I will begin by saying that I am in love, literally in love, with word study- That is studying the Word, by defining words throughout scripture. The first night there we were challenged to define poverty. So, think about it, what is your definition of poverty? Is it just the "poor" people around you in your area? Or does it go to the extent of individuals in Africa? There are so many definitions of this powerful word...and my question was, do I know how powerful it is? When I began to think about poverty and how I would define it- I began thinking about the homeless people in Ft. Myers. That is the last thing before this trip that I had been in contact with, that had "nothing." After being in this area of Mexico for the period of time I was, I began to think what the definition of nothing is....honestly, every single person has something...and more than likely, a lot of things. Whether they are relationships, cars, a house, a friend, a cup of water, a meal a week....think about God-saying in the word that He will be there always- All-present! Wow!

There are more definitions brought to my attention- compassion,hope, joy, peace, happiness, surrender, love and more. I was shown by this trip a little picture of each of these ideas. The trip opened my eyes- to many good things and then some hard things....I remember talking to my mom when I got back and saying this exact statement, "Mom, I should never tell you again that I NEED something." These people do not have all access to doctors, stores, malls, water, food, etc. Man my heart goes out to each and every one of them.

Another thing I was truly convicted of was the idea of compassion. I have read it and heard about it over and over, but to be truthful, that is one of the words I just use to pass over. Todd (our college pastor) was reading scripture to us one night. He was reading out of Matthew and Jesus having compassion on others. That statement hit me hard- I began to think about our trip as a whole, even at the very beginning at the airport. A couple of us arrived super early in the morning- right when we got there to check in our bags, we hit a bump- one suitcase was overweight and so we asked them to hold one of the other ones so we could move stuff around...and they put it on the belt. (not a huge deal) but we all took direct defense, got upset at the lady and started talking about how rude that was....INTERESTING...no compassion there...so I spoke up- I realized that everyday of our lives we go around showing compassion to people we want to show it to-people we care about and care what they think about us. I honestly do not know one person that walks every day of their lives showing compassion to everyone they come in contact with or even think about. It may be a lot to ask, or see in someone, but its true. So I said that idea and then came back with explaining that I have seen every single person in the group that went show compassion to every individual we met or came in contact with on the trip. When we knew we had more, or knew that people could tell we were on a mission trip...interesting. That is my first challenge for coming back- beinging myself to a place, or should I say allowing the Spirit to work in my life to where I show this compassion to others, not just chosen people by me, but everyone...hard I know- but do-able! So I hope as a brother or sister in Chirst, that you can call me out when you see me not following through with this in my life. I proved it to myself that I can do it while I was in Mexico. So call me out- for real! Its only going to make me stronger...

Joshua 1:9

MEXCIO!!!!!!

AHHHH so I leave in less than a day for Mexico- then adrenalin has started....
getting a little nervous. I was reminded of this verse...Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD you God is with you wherever you go. SO GOD HERE I GO!!!

Please pray for our safe travels and for what God is going to do in Mexico! GOD is good!

He's the Remedy-

Today was an interesting day- but let me start with yesterday. I was at the office because Monday is my "work" day, and the leadership team challenged a couple of us to get together and "wordsmith" the core values of Summit Church. Now, I have to be honest and say- one I was like, HA yeah um...I hope I don't have to talk at this meeting, and the other part of me was so excited to be able to sit in and either voice an opinion/belief or not, but I was still taking in the information and developing an understanding of GOD,Truth, Love, and Mission. I am not saying in anyway that we know the answer to these values, but I would say we dug deep. I was challenged to think about why I value God, and why I value Truth....this can really go on and on, but was I owning the ideas we were bringing up? Did I understand why these specific words-ideas-pictures-feelings are valuable to me? I no for a fact God is showing me something big right now-I am not really sure what it is yet, but I really desire to fall into Him. So with that on my mind all day, I brought it home and was trying to get some homework done, and I asked my roommate about the questions I was thinking about. We got into a pretty deep discussion and ended up talking about Hope. Which is where the picture of the sunrise comes in....
She (my roomie) uses the word Hope a lot, like a significant amount...when I don't know of a present to buy her, I end up with something saying Hope on it...anyway- she has been struggling with the definition of hope and what not (I am not going to tell her story here) but, she gave me this clear clear picture of what she sees as hope. "It is like when you get up REALLY early in the morning and you go to watch the sunrise. For a while you are sitting in the dark, it becomes kind of "musty", and you anticipate this beautiful site. This magnificant picture that God himself paints every morning. Then it finally comes...you see the sun start peeking up from the horizon...there is your HOPE!" I started picturing this "painting" and thought, man I want to see this...so I set my alarm-woke up and tried to play it off that it was already light outside-ha...so I got up, (ends up she wanted to do the same thing so we kind of scared each other in the am) and went to the parking garage on campus.
Being on top of this garage and looking into the distance (not so much of a distance because it was so extremely foggy) I began to think-man is this what my life looks like? I could literally not even see a football field distance in front of me. God began to convict me and point out situations, relationships, desires, on and on, but most of all, my relationship with Him. GOD- the one who I had been dwelling on the day before, picking out words, descriptions, etc. about valuing God. I was kind of upset I have to admit, because I was "hoping" for this beautiful painting- but really, the picture painted for me this morning was more magnificant than I have ever seen before. I was looking out into this field of trees, all pretty much the same kind of tree, but some stood out more than others. Todd, our College Pastor always talks about those outside the faith and how our heart should break for the campus. I think I got that picture from the sunrise- I saw this picture, some of the trees like I said, really stand out, they are dark, some have leaves, branches, etc., others were shady. You could see maybe the outline of the tree and even some branches, but not in detail, and then there were these blank spots. I knew there were trees there, but I could not see them. So I related it to this- there are about 10,000 students that are enrolled at FGCU. I know there are Christians, ones that have a relationship with Christ, and ones that don't understand what that means, others who think Christians are hypocrites, some who participate in other religions or spiritual activities, and some who just don't get it-they dont care. Now you can probably match the groups of people with the description of the trees- but my heart began breaking for all of the empty spots...the ones no one have even tried to reach, but then again the ones God himself calls us to. I began to pray and read the Word-as I did, I noticed it was getting brighter, slowly but surley. After a couple of minutes- I looked up, away from my Bible with my eyes wide open to finally see then Sun (or SON in this case?). WOW- I just smiled and could no longer be upset that the sunrise was not this bright and jaw-dropping experience....because it was more than that, it was a picture of God's heart-HOPE....

One of those AH-HA moments...

I started thinking the other day...and I asked myself this question- What does love look like in my life? What are the things I love?What are the things I don't necessary love? Its a strong word, and Im not sure I understand the meaning of it yet. I love my parents, family, and friends...and I love God, but is that love different? His love for me is unconditional, wholehearted, unquestionable, unlimited, unreserved, AMAZING! So after thinking about this for so long and pondering on the fact that God's love for me is more love than I could ever give anyone or anything- I began to fall in love...

Really-I know it sounds kind of silly...but it is true. I was talking to a friend and I just started explaining this "new-found" love. I mean I have been a believer for a couple years, but I have never really allowed myself to fall in love. I wanted to, but I wouldn't let myself come to a place of full trust, faith, love, and most of all know that there is not one person in this world that can love me, like me, or even know me like my Maker. AH-HA!

Ever since then I have been drawn to the word. Consumed by it--and the amazing thing, I had been praying for that for a long time-that I would be consumed by the word and want to spend all day there reading and learning if I could. It happened, and I cannot explain to you how excited I am-I dont even know if excited is the word...engulfed maybe.

So if it is not too much to ask-please pray for me and that as I begin to dance with my Maker I will keep learning new steps, and become faster at the dance, more immune to the steps, but give up on them. That I will keep pursuing this never-ending "dance party" if you will, that will lead me to greater depths and more understanding of this amazing love.

"Your love Oh LORD, reaches to the Heavens,
Your faithfulness, stretches to the skies,
your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
and your justice flows like the oceans tides...

I will lift my voice
To worship You, my King
I will find my strength
In the shadow of your wings"

Whoa..

This week has been pretty crazy...great, but crazy! I feel like I am learning so much right now, not only from the Word and being consumed in the Truth, but in school and at work (Summit). I am going through Nehemiah and absolutely awestruck by his love for Jerusalem. The commitment he had to rebuilding the wall and not letting down...but the thing that really grasped my heart was the ownership that took place in Chapters 1 and 2. This is the first book of the Bible that I have really taken the time to really sit down and be intentional about studying, so it may be from excitement, but I really think God is going to do something big in my heart, making me a Nehemiah. Taking ownership of not only my relationship with God himself, but ministry in general. I dont know if He is calling me to full-time vocational ministry or living out my life in full potential for Him, but Nehemiah sure had a dedication to his country. When Nehemiah feels this call from God to rebuild the wall, there was a lot of controversy from the officials and guards and this is how Nehemiah responded, "The God of heaven will help us succeed. We, his servants, will start rebuilding this wall. But you have no share, legal right, or historic claim in Jerusalem" (Neh. 2:20) He knows it is not the safest thing to do, but knows that God called him to it and he leads in obedience.

God story: So this week was very encouraging. Tonight one of the girls in my community group came up to me after Ignite and shared with me her encounter with the Lord! She is one who has been hard to reach because she is quiet and in a way insecure. I have seen her upset before but the difference between being upset about something and being broken about something was made so clear to me. She was dealing with a specific issue and last week, was just confused about it and not knowing where to go. So as a group we encouraged her to dive into the Word and let her heart be captivated by him...We prayed for her that night and left it at that. When she approached me tonight she had this light to her...a peace about the situation and estatic about what God was teaching her through the book of Proverbs. She couldn't stop smiling and just kept telling me how the Word was speaking to her and how she felt she could really have a conversation with God...how amazing! God is Good!

The more I seek you,
The more I find you,
The more I find you,
The more I love you! Lord, let me be captivated by your word and live to glorify you...