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Hey- I had to get a new blog because this one was not letting me on...its-

http://passiondesirepursuitintimacy.blogspot.com/

sweet!

SoMeDaY

If it was up to me my life would be a blue print on the table and every year would have a label I would know precisely the day that you would come and find me I'd see your face(the one that I dream of) I just can't wait cos I know

someday someone's gonna change my life some how someone's gonna make me smile like I never have before someday someday somewhere, someone's gonna steal my heart some how we'll never ever be apart and I can't wait for that someday someday isn't so far away

I lay awake at night wondering if I had waste the chances giving up see from small romances then I look outside you're wondering on the same midnight sky(you're waiting too) I'm the one that you dream of these dreams come true



guess I'll never know if I passed you on the street the other day or maybe you're far across the ocean knowing every night I pray that some how HE will send you my way someday someday



Someday isn't so far away

The past 10 days...

This is the Estero HIgh School logo- I have started assistant coaching and I absolutely love it! I definitely realize how lazy I was back in HS because of how they play and practice. I just have to sit back and laugh at practice so I don't get upset with them for literally walking on the court. Volleyball is something I am very passionate about, but I am learning at the same time, that it is not something that should be taking up all my thoughts and time. It has been a great experience and I am excited about the season! here is the schedule (some people have asked for it) http://est.leeschools.net/volleyball.html

School has also started this week, and fitting everything in my schedule has been fun. I am taking 15 credits and they are all online so I have to be on top of the game for real!

Also, if you think about it, one of my Mom's good friend Pam was just diagnosed with stage four Leukemia. She went to the doctor for a regular check-up and when the results for the blood work came back, they called her immediately telling her to come back in at that moment. She was admitted into the hospital yesterday and it is not looking to good right now.

Off to do some homework....blech! kidding!!!!

One crazy week!

this week was absolutely crazy! It starts with last Saturday...a couple of my friends and I rented a boat for the day and went tubing/wake boarding/skiing TONS of fun...I just love feeling the wind hit my face while I am boating through the ocean. Monday was my 21st birthday....pretty crazy- I feel like an old lady now- no more "kid"...but it was another day- found out that my college pastor and friend is going through a lot right now and so the day of my birthday was rough- but is going to be beautiful in the end! Praise God~ last wednesday, I left for the KEYS! My first trip ever down there and it was GORGEOUS! I had a great time with some family and a friend of theirs...learned how to lobster and actual got the guts to go down and grab one...definitely would have been more amusing if there was a video camera involved- no such luck with that though, sorry. Now, I am back in the Fort, getting ready for the week to start...OH another big thing- I start helping out with the Estero High School volleyball team tomorrow! I am stoked about it and what God is going to do through this opportunity. Ok- peace out I'm exhausted!

THE BASH!

Saturday was AWESOME! God is huge!!!!! His presence there was out of control, the way the families of Summit embraced this challenge and amazing opportunity showed me that they are starting to understand and live out reaching every man, woman and child. The way the Lord griped my heart about understanding and grasping the fullness of salvation. It has been a wonderful learning experience and even better, Summit is going through the mission statement- Summit Church exist to glorify God through presenting the gospel to every man, woman and child, connecting them into loving relationships with Jesus Christ and with others. Over the past two weeks were were breaking down "the Gospel" it has been a wonderful time of worship and teaching through the Gospel.

Here is the news cast from WINK news on the Bash, Saturday August 2nd.
http://www.winknews.com/features/education/26219864.html

Operation: Project Backpack

As you can see, Summit Church/Journey239 is putting on an event called, Operation:Project Backpack. It is a wonderful opportunity we have had/have to impact our community by presenting 750 students with backpacks throughout Lee and Collier county. These backpacks are full of school supplies that a team of us had the wonderful opportunity to go and buy. It was extremely funny to watch peoples reactions when we brought 4 heaping cart full of school supplies...people would constantly as us "um..are you going to have enough room for all that..." or "wow, what are you doing with all of that..." and my favorite are little kids, "Mommy, look at all those groceries!"

The craziest thing out of the whole process so far has been the conversations with people and seeing how God has totally provided the finances, volunteers, school supplies, backpacks, etc. So I will have more to say about this after the event on Saturday, but for now....

COME OUT SATURDAY FROM 1-3PM AT SUMMIT CHURCH! woo

GiDdY

The title explains me right now to the T! For the past couple weeks I have just been
absolutely giddy about God- what He is doing in my life, our relationship, learning
new things, and being able to gaze at all of HIS amazing qualities. It is the most
amazing feeling I have ever felt- dropping my jaw at every new "thing" that comes
up, waking up in the morning and smiling because I can-knowing that He is working
in and through me. I can't get enough of the word, hearing people talk about what the
Lord is doing in their lives, experiencing his grace and mercy, on and on!

I love it!

Greater things are yet to be done....

This morning in my quiet time, the Lord led me to 2 Peter. I was looking over some notes from the past series at Summit- STAND...and came across this passage of scripture from 2 Peter 3:9-

The Lord is not slow in keeping is promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but EVERYONE to come to repentance.

I cannot help but think about FGCU and all of the students and faculty on that campus daily...even during the summer. Last night during our leadership meeting, we were able to just go and spend time in prayer over the campus, walking and driving to different places all over, having the reality of God's heart right in front of us. Many of us come to college for a simple degree, to say we are a Graduate- woo! The reality is- we are here for so much more than that. God desires so much more for this campus- for the students that will be coming here and for the students that have been here for a while- for faculty that have to deal with so much-and for the visitors that step foot on its pathways daily. In 2 Peter 1:19, Peter (Simon Peter) is explaining prophecy and the prophetic message- it stated something that hit me in the head-

...and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts..."

Right before that he says, "For we did not follow cleverl devised stories when we told you about the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ in power, but we were (get this...) eyewitnesses of his majesty."

God, I know you are doing a mighty work in and through the campus of FGCU. Thank you for letting me be apart of it, Lord guide each of us to a place of peace and comfort in you-God, be with the students that are going to be coming to college for the first time or even back into college from the summer, and stir a passion for you in their hearts. God- let them find you- find that amazing comfort and peace and experience your unfathomable love you so graciously disperse. Help those of us who do call upon you to show your love to all of these students and faculty- God show us your heart for this campus...

Tremble?

I know I haven't posted in a while, but don't worry- God is at work in my life. I feel like I have been pushed and pushed consistently...the funny thing is at first my reaction is-man, again? already? this stinks! this is hard! can't I relax for a minute? Oh how my response should just be YES, Lord- and excited to see what He is calling me to. Be eager to learn and grow by pursuit of Him. For about 2 months or so I have been doing a study on 1 Timothy, which is about the pursuit of Godliness. Great study- it leads you through the whole book of 1 Tim. and leads you to correlating verses throughout the word. I have been so challenged and pushed to limits I never thought were there. It is awesome! Recently, I have been encountered with my dependence on God and living a quiet life being saturated by the Word of God. I was reading in 1 Tim 6 where Paul is writing to Timothy explaining the relationship between slaves and their masters.

All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God's name and our teaching may not be slandered. Those who have believing masters should not show them disrespect just because they are fellow believers. Instead, they should serve them even better because their masters are dear to them as fellow believers and are devoted to the welfare of their slave.

The study then led me to 1 Thessalonians 4:9-11.

"Now about your love for on another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. And in fact, you do love all the brothers and sisters in Macedonia. Yet we urge you, dear friends, to do so more and more, and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily like may win the respect of outsiders so that you will not be dependent on anybody."

I cannot even begin to explain how boldly this speaks in my life. I have a great job, I love my job, great "boss" and staff that passionately pursues God, and how easily it is to think of them more as friends at times and get tasks accomplished on my time and not as quickly as maybe they would like...ouch! On top of that- living a quiet life, not full of pride and "look at my great accomplishments", but a lifestyle quiet and humble, one of service and Godliness. THEN- to not be dependent on ANYBODY- did you catch that...I really think when I read this I felt a slap on my face. I can blame my dependence on being an only child and the lifestyle of growing up with my amazing parents so focused on me and supporting me through everything- to learning that my only dependence should be God. Recently I led a group of High School students on a trip and before I left I was so adamant about getting others approval and opinions about going. Knowing God had already called me to going on the trip, but No, I still had to go to others...why? Because my dependence was not on God, it was on the opinions of others that I knew would support me and care for me.

Why is God's call not always enough.....

THE HIKE

We arive at Windy Gap- a Younglife camp in Weaserville, NC....absolutely gorgeous site-pretty much takes your breath away. The Georgia group meets us there and we make our way up to Everest (not that high up, but it is where all of the backpacks and hiking gear is). We are all standing there with our suitcases and we are instructed to take out different numbers of clothes to but in the other backpack...I have to admit, it is pretty funny watching all of these students whining because they can't take everything they brought...

On to the hike....

PREFACE- When I decided to go on the trip, I was told the hike up to Plunge was about 1 1/2 miles....so Im in a pretty good mood:) THEN- I was re-directed to the understanding that it is just about 5 miles up. This is a steep mountain people! 5 miles feels like 25 miles....NUTS!

ok- we start the hike....not so bad at first- oh, and let me say that I have never been hiking or backpacking before- WHOLE NEW EXPERIENCE...about 5 min in I am already sucking wind...haha I got a good laugh at that.
About an hour into the hike I began to think about why in the world I was doing this...I mean, God totally told me to go, so that is enough reason in itself, but man it was rough. I began thinking about my family and missing them already, its funny how you don't see them for a while and you miss them, but its like a "miss" you always have, but when you go away you really "MISS" them. I also began to think about the good ol' Cabrera family. My heart began to hurt thinking about the kids and not seeing them for a week or able to talk to the "rents"...I knew it was going to be hard-it was way harder than I thought- I started to focus on Max...thinking about what he has to go through daily- dealing with Autism and not being able to get his thoughts across as easily as we all wish. Think about the hike that must be....It is funny how a little boy-almost 3 years old can inspire someone who is almost 21 or really any age- to get through this crazy hike I was on. I kept picturing his little chubby cheeks and big brown eyes with that heartbreaking smile running in front of me. He really, honestly kept me going. There were so many times I wanted to stop and take a break-my heart was pounding- legs were cramping- sweat was pouring out of me-but this little boy running ahead of me pushed me to a place of perseverance. I began to look at life and our spiritual journeys...thinking about the fact that there will always be people in front of us- no telling how far in front or how close and ultimately God and knowing they are pulling us up, encouraging us, loving us....and then there are always people behind-once again don't know how close or how far, but they are there....we are never last- those people are pushing us- sometimes encouragement come and sometimes struggle comes (like a tug-o-war) but at last- YOU REACH THE SUMMIT. As you can tell- my mind was racing...I did it- I made the hike, shaking a bit and all- but we did it...as a family!

Here is a quick quote from a book I just started... CRAZY LOVE " There is an epidemic of spiritual amnesia going around, and none of us is immune. No matter how many fascinating details we learn about God's creation, no matter how many pictures we see of His galaxies, and no matter how many sunsets we watch, we still forget. Most of us know that we are supposed to love and fear God; that we are supposed to read our Bibles and pray so that we can get to know Him better; that we are supposed to worship Him with our lives. But actually living it out is challenging. It confuses us when loving God is hard. Shouldn't it be easy to love a God so wonderful? When we love God because we feel we should love Him, instead of genuinely loving out of our true selves, we have forgotten who God really is. Our amnesia is flaring up again."

This past week was a huge expression of God's unfathomable love- it was awesome!

"I can do all things through-who- CHRIST- who gives us-what- STRENGTH!!!!!!!!!"
Phil. 4:13

The Distant Whisper

So I am ALIVE! WOOOOO! Didn't know if I was going to make it there for a while. Plunge was rough- I'm not gonna lie! Full of new experiences and people- not like me, but that is the cool part about it all. I would not say that I found a new love of backpacking, hiking, going partially insane being in the woods by myself, BUT it was an amazing experience-hard to put in words. The big picture of the week for me was finding the difference between aloneness and solitude. The act of being alone means that there is no one else present. without another's help or participation. Solitude is similar but get this, it is the state or situation of being alone-NOT actually being alone-it says nothing about having no one... so similar I know, but really so different. There was one part of Plunge that was a 24 hour SOLO. Yes, a whole 24-hour period of solitude in the woods with the next person about 50 yards away. I definitely understand why people go mentally insane now-it's hard! But, during this time I was able to reflect on the mysteriousness of God- His love, grace, mercy, joy, and crazy ways! There were no interruptions (except the rain)...think about the last time you had a 24 hour period with no one to jump in to say hi or a call on the cellular! That was the big picture of the week...next is the HIKE!

Hospitality

It has been really cool to look at a lot of the ways God has
been at work in my life. Through friendships, roommates,
living situations, school, parents, etc. It has also been very
encouraging to see Him work in and through me to reach
and share with others. As I said in my last post, I love, love,
love hearing peoples stories and I am really excited to have
this experience at Plunge to hear 30 different stories from
all different backgrounds.
Through my study of 1 Timothy, in chapter 3 it talks a lot
about how women should hold themselves and live out
their lifestyles. At first when I was reading through this
I just merely read it because it was about marriage and
submitting to their husbands, and being a good mom, but
the last one has recently took a hold of my heart...
hospitality. You can think of hospitality of offering water
to someone when they come over or having the small group
at your house, but hospitality is the act of generously
providing care and kindness to whomever is in need.
Wow! That is such a big statement- It makes me think
of the passage of scripture where Jesus states: Matthew 23:33-40
33He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34Then the king will say to those on his right, "My father has
blessed you! Come and receive the kingdom that was prepared
for you before the world was created. 35When I was hungry,
you gave me something to eat, and when I was thirsty, you
gave me something to drink. When I was a stranger, you
welcomed me, 36and when I was naked, you gave me clothes
to wear. When I was sick, you took care of me, and when I was
in jail, you visited me."
37Then the ones who pleased the Lord will ask, "When did we
give you something to eat or drink? 38When did we welcome
you as a stranger or give you clothes to wear 39or visit you
while you were sick or in jail?"
40The king will answer, "Whenever you did it for any of my
people, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did it for me."

I used the Contemporary English version because I love how the last
line is stated..."whenever you did it for ANY of my people, no
matter how unimportant they seemed, you did it for me...."

So this trip for me is like a mission trip. 100% service to all of the
students and leaders going on this trip....and most of all, service to
the Lord! sweet!

-I'm off tomorrow bright and early----joy! haha

God my prayer is that my devotion to you is evident in all that
I say and do, and there is a seriousness and purpose to my life
that is not missed...thank you for this opportunity to serve you
others I don't even know...!

PlUnGe

This picture is from Pioneer Plunge (in the winter obviously). It is a Young life camp that is in the Blue Ridge Mountains in North Carolina. After wrestling through and praying about being a counselor for a group from Naples going on this trip, I felt led to take the journey. We leave June 10th and return (hopefully...jk) June 17th. CAMP- you think...fun, exciting, fun pictures, new friends, mountain top experience in your faith (most of the time), closer as a group, something to do over the summer...yada yada- but my heart doesn't want that. I know it is going to be fun, a push out of my comfort zone (once again), definitely meeting new people because I know no one I am going with, and let me just say..no lie...no mirrors, no deodorant, no running water, no electricity, wood burning stove (meaning we cut down the trees and take an ax to them), in the WOODS (there are bears there-YIKES!)- but why would people make a camp like this? Why would anyone want to go on this trip? Do you really meet God face to face? These are just questions running through my head...and if you can't tell- I am crazy nervous about this trip-but even more excited about it. I was doing a devotional this morning, from The Ransomed Heart,
- If you want to get to know someone, you need to know their story. Their life is a story. It, too, has a past and a future. It, too, unfolds in a series of scenes over the course of time. In order to make you understand their story, "to give you my life, I must tell you a story..." (Virginia Woolf). I expect all of us, at one time or another, in an attempt to understand our lives or discover what we ought to do, have gone to someone else with our stories. This is not merely the province of psychotherapists and priests, but of any good friend. "Tell me what happened. Tell me your story, and I'll try to help you make some sense of it."
We humans share these lingering questions: "Who am I really? Why am I here? Where will I find life? What does Go want of me?" The answers to these questions seem to come only when we know the rest of the story....

While reading this devo- I could only think about all of the grace stories I am going to hear on this trip. After meeting with the other leader (Zach) and his wife (Blair) and hearing just a tad bit about each of the girls, my heart began to break for them. Yes, we all have a story- a wonderful story-and throughout the week everyone on this "retreat"/camp will get to share them....that make me excited!

...So if you think about it- please pray for me and the group of 15 from Naples that will be leaving June 10th- that we will experience God in a clear and authentic way- and most of all...that it would not just be a mountain top experience that will last who knows how long- but a real and exciting way to live out our faith.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, be prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

James 1

James 1:2-8

(message) Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

I cannot even begin to explain God's presence in my life...the past week or so has been a huge test of patience, trust, love, peace, and so much more. I have been trying to find another roommate for a while because it was just never a stable situation and God totally provided! So, I can say..God is good right...but my question is, would I be saying that if God has planned for Jessi and I to live in a 2 bedroom place?


On another note- at church we have been studying the book of Titus. I had never really read or studied it so I was stoked when we began the study. Today we read Titus 2:9-10 and Orlando did a wonderful job communicating to the people. This piece of scripture focuses on how to act in the workplace, and at first I was thinking, man I don't really deal with the business world directly right now, but I started to think about my attitude, words, and actions I have when I go into work at Old Navy. I was so convicted because working there has a negative effect on me now. I really don't like going into work and when I am there I count the minutes to when I get to leave. It is honestly, pathetic! God has me there for a reason and to glorify HIM in everything I do. so much to work on...how cool! ha

little buggers....

It is amazing to me how much you can learn from two little kids...man! So for a couple days this week I have been playing "mommy" not really but babysitting these two stinkers. I love them so much...they are awesome kids, but man are they hard work! haha It has been great, dont get me wrong I would do it again in a heartbeat- but I am worn out! They surprise me everyday I see them with new words and fun things to do...tonight during "bath time" we were coloring with their new crayons and we were all laughing so hard...why? I'm not really sure, but their smiles break me. I have to remember daily to thank God for them and their family, my family, my friends, etc. in my life because they are so important to me and God has blessed me with them. What a great gift!

God is Good...

But...am I just saying that because He provided a house? This is such a hard question to answer...I would like to say No, that God is good because He is worthy of all praise. So, would I be saying God is good if He didn't provide a place here but a place at home? interesting...good question though.

So school is almost over-my junior year, came and is going, going, pretty much gone! I cannot believe how fast it is going. I remember when I was in middle school, my school not being far from the local High school at all. I would watch the High schoolers leave class and walk through the halls with their text books in their hands, thinking wow! they are so cool...then high school came and left before I could blink my eyes...and now college is almost over. I was at the FGCU softball game the other night and a fond memory came to my random head- I remember going to USF softball games with my Daddy when I was playing ball and thinking how old those girls were and man, I would never be that good- CRAZY! I know I totally just went off subject, but I am thinking through different "bullets" in my relationship with Christ. I look at when I first gave my life to Him about 4 1/2 years ago and relate it to now. God is Good! From my last post, I had to look back and think about the last clear direction He gave to me, which was to come down to FGCU and play ball. Well, softball ended soon after that because of an injury, but the plan God has made for me and the way it has shown itself in my life the 3 years I have been down here is so hard to comprehend. Man!

I will go...

I cannot even begin to explain what has been going on. I was challenged, very very challenged, the other day at Staff meeting. We were talking about Samuel in 1 Samuel about saying, Yes, Lord. Is that your response to everything? Boy- this wasn't my answer. Ill try and make this short...I am trying to find a place to live for the summer and next year...I have found roommates, some have started to back out, others have stayed in, and others are half in half out...it is frustrating, Im not going to lie. But in these situations should be easy to say, Ok God do what you will in this situation, but for me, its not so easy. I feel like things keep falling through-so I say well its obviously not God's plan...so I search for more. Taking control of it and not letting God put his plan to practice...so as I wait and wait and wait I need to say Yes, Lord I will go... take me there.... so this is my response..

Desperation Band from Everyone Overcome © 2007.

Let Your kingdom come on earth. Let Your will be done
Let every kingdom of this earth bow.

Let the sinners sing for joy, we are saved by grace
Let every saint break through these doors and shout

You’re calling out, “who will go?”

I will go. I will live the life. I’ll give it all for Jesus Christ.
I’ll tell the world that You are God.
I will go. Hear my battle cry. Give me wings so I can fly
and tell the world that You are God.

Here am I, here am I, I will give all that is mine.
Here am I, here am I, Jesus come and spend my life.

I will go. I will live the life.
I’ll give it all for Jesus Christ. I’ll tell the world that You are God.
I will go. Hear my battle cry.
Give me wings so I can fly and tell the world that You are God


GOD- my response is for you...Lord it is so hard for me, and you know I don't want to leave this area that I am at/in right now. Lord but If you want me to I will go. If that means go back home, I will, if it means go to china, I will go. I trust you and you alone! I love you

ants on a log....

ha ha this is called ants on a log....it's celery with peanut butter and rasins....interesting I have to say
Definitely a fun snack...woooo
I am trying to eat healtheir....haha

The little ones...

Man these little ones were so cool! Even with the huge language barrier, God's love still shines through! Woooooo!
A piece of my heart was left with them for real! When can I go back? :)